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  • Writer's pictureCarina Burridge

What if love is the answer?

Oh man, here we go. Now she is getting all hippy and voohoo already....I was just starting to like her...

...I get it! I was the same!

But here is the thing. For pretty much all my life, I was the one with the Samaritan Gen, the one who wanted to help everyone, who was always there, who took care of things, who did the tough stuff, who did the right thing. The one who would come to the rescue no matter what.

Reading all the self-development books and listening to all the podcasts, you would think I must have been the happiest and fulfilled person in the whole wide world, since they were all talking about giving back and supporting others and doing it together. The more you give the more you receive, right?

Well, I didn't feel very happy at the time. To be honest, I felt like crap. I felt miserable and frustrated. Why was I the one who had to do it all? Why couldn't they see what needs to be done? Why wouldn't they listen to me in the first place? Couldn't they see that I was busy too?

For starters, why did they let me help them? Because I was the one offering help in the first place. #gofigure! But about the whole people pleasing thing another time more. #somuchstufftotalkabout

Looking back, I know now that I might have had good intentions and was doing the right thing but I was definitely coming from the wrong place. I was offering my help from a place of frustration, anger and impatience. 'Let me do it, if you can't get it done. I know how to do it. Don't worry, I'll do it. Out of my way and I'll get it done!' #ifixititall

Yes, you really wonder why I wasn't feeling happy and fulfilled. #iwonderwhy #toomuch

Then a couple of years a go, I was ready to learn the lesson. I was attending a personal development workshop (the story around that is one for another time too), however someone was saying: 'choose love first'. I was like: 'What? What has love got to do with it?And what does that even mean?' But then it hit me: #whatwouldlovedo?

Do you know those moments when you hear something and you just know that's the truth? Well, that was that moment for me. What would love do? #thisisabigone #ahamoment

That was the 'answer' to all my questions: 'Why can't they do it themselves? Why do I have to do it all?' - I was asking the wrong questions! And instead of jumping in and trying to rescue everyone and every situation, I now had a tool to evaluate the situation first: What would love do?

That one single question changed my life completely - for the better. Before I was coming from a place of anger and resentment. I realised that I was missing the most important thing - LOVE!!! #allyouneedislove

Coming from a place of love, doesn't mean I have to do it all on my own because I love them. No far from it! Coming from a place of love means doing the right thing by looking at the bigger picture. Loving myself enough to put my needs and wishes first. Having boundaries and keeping them (more on that one later as well). And mainly loving the people around me enough to give them a chance to figure it out themselves. Loving them enough to let them learn their lessons without me pushing them, without me knowing it better and the need to tell them. But still be there for support. #youcantstealanyoneoftheirrockbottom

Does that mean I never get angry and frustrated anymore? Haha #wishfullthinking No. I am still human after all. But as @loriharder offers: 'I am also a beautiful work in progress.' And choosing love means I love myself enough to forgive myself for failing as long as I get up and choose again. #gamechanger

Is there anything you are constantly struggling with and frustrating you? What's your lesson? Please know that I am cheering you on and offer you to do the first step and start shifting your perspective with one simple question: What would love do?

Love and Namaste

xxx Carina xxx

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